When God has a plan

It’s going to be okay. All of it. The school stuff, friend stuff, family stuff, boy stuff. Whatever’s stressing you, let it go. ‘Cause according to the Good Book, God’s got this. And He’s got you in His hands.

Do you dare believe it? Sounds simplistic, I know, but Jesus Followers face the future with confidence. After all, that’s what Romans 8:28 is all about: “For those who love God, all things work together for good, for those called to His purpose.” 

Did you see it? Things work out for the Jesus girls! Things work out for His purpose! So it’s all good now, right? ‘Cause I sense some hesitation.

Maybe it’s this:  You believe God’s in control. But you fear that His purpose won’t match your plan.

That’s where Jane was. She wanted to be a nurse, but school was difficult. And even though she studied, her grades suffered. “God has a future for me,” she said. “And His ways are good. But what if His idea of ‘good’ is different than mine?”

Been there? Felt that? I have.

When I first walked with Jesus, He knew my dreams. Surely He’d fulfill them! And then Psalm 37:4 promised my deepest desires if only I delighted in God. But you see, I had it backwards—Intimacy with Him doesn’t give me what I want. Intimacy with Him changes what I want.

So is it actually possible for your desires to mirror His? (Even if you flunk out of nursing school?) To be so enamored with the Savior that wherever He leads is okay? (Even if it’s across the world?) Y-E-S.

Over time, as you walk with Jesus, it’s easier to trust the path. His good becomes your good, and life becomes sweeter. Really! There’s confidence in every step—even the difficult ones—because you know three things are certain: You have a purpose, others see hope, and God gets the glory. Now that’s a plan for eternity!

By the way, Jane’s a pediatric nurse now. She works halfway around the world in the slums. Up to age 20, Jane never liked children. Then one fall, after failing a class in nursing school, she was hired to babysit two newly adopted kids. They had once lived halfway around the world, in an orphanage. It’s two blocks from where she works now. Take heart, worthy daughter. God always knows what He’s doing.

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Sand dollar special (revised reprint)

My imperfect but precious sand dollar miracle.

All my summers have known Pensacola Beach. And all my summers have known the search for a perfect sand dollar. They’re tough to spot, these coins in the surf. But when one appears? Pure bliss! It’s like God’s special “Hey there, sweetheart. I see you, and I’m faithful.”

Well, today, my friends, is the day. The water is clear, calm, sand dollar prime. And guess what?  The very second I walk to the shore, there it is: Tiny but whole, absolutely perfect. So I scoop it up and get pretty cocky for 10:00 a.m.: “Hey, Sand Dollar. Who’s your mama? You’re gonna be a blog, little guy, a story about the blessings. Bam!”

So Blog Idea #1 is born: Getting the Good Stuff.

Seconds later, though, I LOSE IT! Unbelievable. Just floats from my hand like air. So much for getting the good stuff. What good is getting it if you can’t keep it? I’m annoyed at my carelessness, perturbed at my cockiness. Should have been more attentive.

Blog Idea #2: Holding Tightly to the Good Stuff.

An hour passes. I walk along the shoreline and as a wave rushes in, I see something incredible—another sand dollar, a BIG one white as snow. It’s round and perfect and swirling at my feet. Oh, God, you create second chances! You shower me with grace when I least expect it. It’s like a Sand Dollar Miracle!

Blog Idea #3: Getting Way Better Stuff than I Deserve

Scooping up this miracle requires speed. There’s a quick hand plunge, bringing up water, sand and treasure. Then I realize the cost of my sudden grab: A sizeable crack down the middle. My heart sinks. It’s useless now, right? Not special, not pristine. It’s an almost-blessing gone wrong.

My husband sees the whole thing. He says, “You’re not throwing that away, are you? Just because there’s a crack? Take it home, get some glue. It’ll be good as new.”

Blog Idea #4 When Broken Stuff Has Value

Thank you, Father, for sticking with me. For restoring beauty, for sealing my cracks. You won’t throw me away, not ever; I’m valuable in your eyes, worth keeping. Good as new, in fact, through the gift of Jesus. And so is every fragile heart tossing in the current, waiting to be found.

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Girl traps, part three (the risk of being real)

Our smiling, churchy faces—Christian masks, I call them—are hurting us. We chat with visitors, attend Bible studies, sing on praise teams. But sometimes it’s not real.

I’m not saying we don’t love God. And I’m not saying we’re deliberate hypocrites. No, it’s trickier than that: It’s not that we want to hide our struggles, doubts, or fears. We think we have to.

Satan fools us, whispers that good girls don’t spill dirty laundry. If we do, he says, people will judge and reject us. They’ll question our spiritual maturity, our ability to lead. Or worse than that, the Lord will get a black eye. After all, isn’t Christianity supposed to be awesome?

So we clam up, shut down. And as the enemy spreads his poison, we’re hit with a paralyzing doozy: If people know the truth, they won’t accept me.

It’s a lie for sure, one that makes me wonder: Why this trap for girls like you? And what if you escape it? If you remove the mask, once and for all, what are the blessings?

1)   Being real makes you stronger. It’s tough out there, and you need transparency in the trenches. Sharing your heart’s desire helps you practice trust, stay connected, and gain spiritual momentum.

2)   Being real teaches you grace. There’s nothing like revealing something you’re not proud of and hearing a sister say, “I love you just the same, in the name of Jesus.” And she means it.

3)   Being real ignites your purpose. You weren’t saved to pretend a perfect, sinless life. You were saved to proclaim a perfect, merciful Savior. Your flaws make Him accessible and attainable to others.

4)   Being real makes you smarter. When you admit struggles, wise believers are ready with answers and experience. They understand where you are and how to grow challenges into spiritual fruit.

5)   Being real encourages others. Your past valleys are someone’s current despair. When you reveal how God brought you through, there’s reassuring hope and perspective.

Recently, a young woman I know broke free of the trap. As a group of us discussed sin, everyone frowned at its horror. Suddenly brave Kelli spoke up: “This sounds terrible, but sin feels really good. I mean, I kind of like it sometimes, enjoy it, even. Is this awful to admit?”

I wanted to hug her struggling, transparent, honest neck. Now we were getting somewhere. Now we were getting real.

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Want to see parts one and two of Girl Traps? Click the links below for past posts:

http://worthydaughters.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/girl-traps-part-one-the-attention-spotlight/

http://worthydaughters.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/girl-traps-part-two-the-boy-factor/

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Girl traps, part two (the boy factor)

Everywhere I look, traps appear. And girls fall into them, tricked in a thousand ways. So when I recently chatted with some Christian teens, we faced three snares head on.

One potential trap—boys—was a hot topic for sure. Girls sat up straight, craving Testosterone Wisdom, mainly because they believed this lie: “A boyfriend solves everything.”

I asked them how a boyfriend would make life better, easier, happier:

• “My social life would improve.” ~Tessa
• “I’d feel better about myself. It’d mean I’m pretty.” ~Jen
• “People think you’re weird if you’re not in a relationship.” ~Maya

Hmm, sounds like a lying trick of Satan! Time to bust up the lies and climb out of the “gotta have a guy” trap:

Truth #1: Desiring a boyfriend is okay if it doesn’t consume you.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking about the right kind of guy. It’s actually normal. But life is more than boys, and whether or not he’s on the horizon is unrelated to how you look, who you are, or what the future holds. Beware if you’re thinking, “I should have a boyfriend right now.” IT’S A TRAP.

Truth #2: Desperation for a boyfriend can cause you to settle.

I’m not saying you’ll deliberately pursue a guy who treats you badly. But when girls feel pressure to date and a boy is interested, it’s easy to overlook deal-breaking flaws. Beware if you’re thinking, “I can live with this. He’s not what I prayed for, but he’ll do.” IT’S A TRAP.

Truth #3: Devotion to the wrong guy can cause you to compromise.

Too many girls who date know the relationship is unhealthy, but they’re so afraid of being single that they stay. They can’t imagine life beyond the break-up, the unknown. Beware if you’re thinking, “We’ve been together too long to back out now.” IT’S A TRAP.

So what are the boyfriend traps that could make you vulnerable? Ask your Heavenly Father. Search scripture for clear instruction. Talk with a Godly woman you trust. Most of all, remember the treasure you are and the beautiful, trap-free life your Savior offers: “You are a chosen people, God’s very own possession …He called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9, NLT)

Want to see part one of Girl Traps? Click the link below for last week’s post:

http://worthydaughters.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/girl-traps-part-one-the-attention-spotlight/

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Girl traps, part one (the attention spotlight)

You’re a good girl by society’s standards: Decent grades, respectable friends. You’re a Godly girl by the church’s standards: Mission trips, youth choir. No struggles with the enemy, right? He knows you’re solid, steady, unstoppable.

But are you sure you’re untrap-able?

I recently spoke with a group of Christian teens—sweet girls, typical girls—and they shared some easy-to-fall-for traps. One in particular, a lie from the evil one, seemed especially sneaky: “Getting noticed increases my value.”

Interesting. I asked them how today’s girls—even good girls, sometimes—get  noticed. Here’s what they’ve seen (and not necessarily done, mind you):

• “Post photos on Instagram that show your body. Then wait for ‘likes’ and comments.”
• “Make sure no one forgets you’re there: Laugh loudly, tell a juicy story, tease people, flirt with all the boys.”
• “Play dumb. Everyone will want you around because it’s funny. Also, you can get away with stuff if you act clueless.”

I told you they were honest. Next I asked why attention-seeking matters:  “Well, girls think they’re worth more when boys notice,” they said. “And girls think they’re worth more when other girls are jealous,” they said.

“Dear Lord, help us,” I said. “Stupid, crippling trap….”

So let’s dismantle it. First, though, remember this: It’s not sinful to want to matter. Psalm 139:14 says you’re worth noticing. And the Father sees your tender heart. But the evil one twists things, taking your desires and perverting them. Thus, the tricky trap.

Here’s the Truth that Satan wants to camouflage:

• Getting noticed doesn’t increase value. It feeds your insecurity. Oh, the stress of wondering what “they” want next. Or competing with a girl who’s funnier, skinnier, flirtier. You can’t win (no one can), and Satan knows it. He simply wants you tangled up in a self-esteem nightmare.

• Getting noticed doesn’t increase value. It compromises your influence. It’s confusing, not compelling, to see believers crowd God’s spotlight (especially if the spotlight shows cleavage). Friends aren’t sure what to think when it’s all about you. What they do know, however, it’s that it’s not about Jesus.

Please don’t fall for it, worthy daughters; instead, stand on safe, solid ground. How? Ask for sharp eyes to see the traps. Then ask God for strength to avoid them. I promise, He’ll be attentive; He always is: “[I prayed], ‘Pull me out of the net that is hidden for me, for You are my refuge’” (Psalm 31:4).

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The face of genuine beauty

Beautiful Katey’s heart pours out the love of her Lord.

This may sound strange, but I’ve been thinking about your face. Kind of personal, agreed, but there’s something you should know. (It’s good, don’t worry.) As it turns out, your face—the one you scrutinize, complain about—is perfectly lovely just as it is. Now before rolling those skeptical eyes, please—pretty please?—read on.

Plenty of girls beat themselves up, looking in a mirror and wishing Miss Universe would stare back. And while it may be common to hate on ourselves, it’s not spiritually healthy. This week three young Jesus followers shared their hang-ups:

* Resenting girls with clearer skin, smoother hair, straighter teeth.

* Obsessing over how they look and who will (or won’t) notice.

* Wondering how life would be different if they looked different.

Megan, a college freshman, asked for some perspective. “Females struggle with appearance,” she confessed. “Can you send me some Bible verses?” Which got me thinking about you, scripture, and your face:

1) Tons of passages describe inner beauty (pure hearts, clean hands, sincere motives). There’s not so much on acne prevention, however.  Could it be that if God’s not obsessed with outer appearance, then we shouldn’t be either? (See 1 Samuel 16:7.)

2) The Creator carefully formed your face (and curves and freckles and those interesting baby toenails). He did all this with TLC, so the least we can do is appreciate His artistry. (See Psalm 139:13-16.)

3) Satan wants you insecure. And ungrateful, self-absorbed, jealous, distracted. If you listen to the world’s warped view of beauty, he wins and you’re miserable. Not only that, but your reason for being here—loving God and loving people—goes unfulfilled. (See John 8:44.)

4) You and your perfectly lovely face have a bright future, in Jesus’ name. Just stick with the Lord, and His desires will match yours. Take heart because no physical flaw can stop God’s best. (See Psalm 37:4.)

Spiritual beauty treatments are lifelong and rewarding. Case in point: Alexis knows her worth in Christ, but sometimes the lying mirror beckons. Last week she struggled, and suddenly an old song came to mind. She explains what happened next: “It was like the Spirit Himself began singing to me. The kind of girl God wants me to be—lovely, beautiful, priceless—is how He already sees me! All I need to be is HIS. So freeing!”

Free indeed, Alexis. Truth on a Jesus girl’s face is always beautiful. Beautiful and unfading.

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What eggs-actly are you doing, God?

My niece Olivia finding Easter eggs.

“Time to see what the bunny brought!” my niece Olivia squealed as the family returned from church. “Can we hunt for eggs before lunch?” My sister and her husband panicked.

“We forgot to hide the eggs!” they eyeballed to each other. “You take care of it,” my sister whispered, “and I’ll distract Olivia inside. Empty the whole basket, quick.”

So that’s how it went, smooth as silk, for a while. But Olivia was excited. Excited and fast. Somehow she slipped away and peeked through the window. Suddenly there were screams of horror.

There was her daddy, holding a half-empty basket in one hand and a purple egg in the other. Olivia burst into tears. With a sigh, my sis scooped up her poor, disillusioned baby.

But then Miss O got mad. “Daddy’s stealing all my eggs,” she wailed. “The Easter bunny left them for me, but Daddy’s taking them all! Look, his basket is almost full!”

Bless her naive little heart. She couldn’t have interpreted that scene more wrongly. Which got me thinking.

How often have I sobbed over scenarios I didn’t understand? “God, don’t take my eggs! I wanted that thing, so why did the door slam shut? And that person who’s gone from my life; bring him back! You say you love me, Lord, but it feels like I’m being robbed!”

Like Olivia, my naive perspective has sometimes been off—-way off. God doesn’t rob His kids. Scripture says He wants good for us. In fact, He places thoughtful gifts—bright, hopeful ones filled with spiritual value—in full view:

“What man is there among you who, when his children ask for a loaf, will give a stone? Or if they  ask for a fish, he will not give a snake, will he? If you know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in Heaven give what is good to them who ask Him?” (Matthew 7:9-11).

If you’re a Daddy’s girl—one who loves her Heavenly Father—then when life seems unfair, hang on. That failed opportunity? It wasn’t what you needed, trust me. (Better yet, trust Him.) And that person who left your life ? You’ll love and trust again, promise. God has priceless treasures in store, so get ready. Believe. And thank Him for the blessings.

Happy Resurrection Day, my sisters. He loves. He lavishes. He lives!

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He didn’t run

I don’t cry a lot. Last week during The Bible series, though, one scene got me. If you were watching along with 80 million viewers, you saw Jesus praying in the garden, heartbroken and burdened. Then soldiers burst in to arrest Him, to take Him away. And Peter went nuts.

Now I know Peter’s next lines weren’t in scripture, but they sure sounded like something he’d say. After all, at this point he was fiercely loyal to Jesus. (Remember the Roman ear removal?) So I wasn’t surprised when Movie Peter screamed the following words:

“Run, Jesus! Jesus, run!”

I’m telling you, hearing the desperation in Peter’s voice, I lost it. Maybe because I got it. In that moment, with everything in me, I wanted to protect my Jesus too. I wanted to spare Him what was coming, from evil and shame and death. I wanted Him to bolt for the nearest exit. Run, Jesus! Jesus, for Heaven’s sake, run!

But He just stood there. Without saying a word, Jesus let them take Him away like a lamb to the slaughter.

Even now, I can’t get this scene out of my head: How ironic that Peter tried saving the Savior. And how beautifully strange that what Peter hoped Jesus would escape—evil and shame and death—are the very things Christ was about to spare Peter. And spare me. And every follower who’d ever live.

Part of me still wishes Jesus had run. Oh, how I love Him! Oh, how He deserved better! But most of me is grateful He didn’t. So it’s a bittersweet Good Friday, when my willing Savior died. I weep for His suffering. I cry for those not embracing the gift. But there are joyful tears, for sure. Thanks to Jesus for our hope! Praise the spotless Lamb! And praise the Risen Lord!

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“He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet He never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, He did not open his mouth. Unjustly condemned, He was led away….But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush Him
and cause Him grief….The righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for He will bear all their sins.”           (Isaiah 53:7-11).

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Boys, blondes, and bears (reprint)

Today’s topic is about boys. You need to know this because at first it won’t seem that way. Just trust me. And keep reading.

We rented a mountain cabin, and my niece was on a bear hunt. So Olivia and I searched for tracks. We listened for growls. We even prayed for one to appear, but after three days, nothing.

Vacation over, we headed down the mountain. I looked out the car window, and there in the ditch I SAW IT. Up close was the huge hiney of a…Well, you know. His head was buried in a bush, but I’d know that backside anywhere. I couldn’t breathe. Had just enough air to pant, “B-B-B-Bear!”

Brakes screeched. I smiled at our answered prayer. Then suddenly a head turned toward us. It looked into my eyes. And I thought, “How strange! I never knew bears looked like cows!”

And this, friends, is when I lived up to the blonde stereotype. To my credit, the cow’s tail wasn’t visible. Neither was the bell around its neck. And for a split second everyone in that car, brunettes included, thought BEAR, not MOO.

Have you ever suffered from mistaken identity? Specifically, have you ever thought a boy was an answer to prayer, but then the disappointing truth surfaced? If so, I’m sorry. Please know that not all boys are cows wolves in bear’s sheep’s clothing. But be careful—It’s a jungle out there! Here’s what to remember as you search for what’s real:

1)   Study scripture to see what a Godly boy looks like. It’s the key to spotting counterfeits quickly.

2)  Ask God to whisper truth in your ear. You’ll be amazed at how the Spirit will reveal, direct, and empower.

3)   Believe the real deal exists. Maybe they’re rare, but guys out there do uphold God’s standard.

4)   Know that God hears your desires. Tell Him what you’re looking for. Then in the same breath, thank Him for perfect timing.

5)   Be the kind of girl who attracts the right boy. He notices the one who honors God, respects herself, and loves others.

And when he appears—an authentic one, I mean—enjoy the blessing. Laugh! If you flirt with spinach in your teeth, Tweet it. If his truck horn sounds like “Dukes of Hazard,” sing along. And if you mistake a cow for a bear, by all means, tell the world. :)

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Hope when you’re hurting

Hey, you, the one who’s hurting. The Jesus follower who’s heartbroken, disappointed, or confused. I know how you feel. In fact, I’m in a dark place myself. But even in this sadness, one truth shines bright: Our loving God is with us, and He will see us through.

Last month, someone I love got really sick. Our family prayed for the best, but things kept going downhill. So where was God during this storm? Well, as a friend assured me, “He’s all over that hospital room. I’m praying you see His face, up close and personal.” Not surprisingly, the Lord was faithful.

It’s hard to explain, feeling calm in the dark. It’s tough to comprehend, crying your eyes out while still believing God is good. But that’s who we are. That’s who we are in Him. We face pain with supernatural peace, thanks to the Spirit. And we heal with supernatural strength, thanks to the promise of Scripture.

So how can your teary eyes find God in the sadness? Here’s a soothing secret: He’ll find you, often in the most personal, unexpected ways:

God puts your name on people’s hearts. As my father-in-law lay dying, it was a private family matter. So imagine my surprise to hear from believers with a sudden urge to pray. One friend left a meeting to be alone and call out our names. The other lives across the country, and we’ve never even met! But God knew our hearts were breaking, so He called on spiritual warriors to hold us up.

God fills the room with His presence. I’d love to share what happened as we watched our loved one trade his tired body for a new one. It’s just too tender to tell. But please know that as we prayed for Jesus to come quickly and get my sick father-in-law, He did. In that moment, the air was thick with Holiness—An undeniable, comforting realization that we were not alone.

God sends sweet reminders. My father-in-law loved bird watching. Cardinals, to be exact. After his funeral, we returned to find a dozen bright red birds feeding in the yard. They never even budged! Oh, how we smiled: Even the creatures of nature declared God’s hope! This is the Savior, the One who provides our needs. The One who holds us close.  And the One who can pour out joy through twelve tiny birds.

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“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

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