Turkey, small-talk, and the single girl

My partly decorated Thanksgiving table awaiting good conversation.

When I was young and single, those Thanksgiving dinner conversations could really stress me out. Now, I’m not a shy person, and there’s nothing I enjoy more than catching up with family; I love them, really I do!

But sometimes, back in the day, a few sweet, well-meaning relatives would begin an innocent line of questioning that would send me into an internal  tailspin. You may know what I’m talking about: various inquiries about my choices, my goals, my life. Honestly, I was barely hanging on in all these areas, so when an elderly great aunt, for example, asked about my ex-boyfriend, the “Happy Thanksgiving Jig” was up. Behind that pleasant (fake) reply and cheery (also fake) disposition, my twenty-year old brain was suddenly panicked: “Where am I going with my life? I used to have a plan; the plan didn’t work. I NEED A NEW PLAN!”

So in case you’re an experienced (old—there, I said it) woman like me and find yourself seated beside a young lady with anxious-looking eyes, maybe we could agree to avoid the following questions. 🙂 And if you happen to be the anxious-looking young lady at the table, then I feel you, girl. Just know that you’re not only loved and treasured by the family sitting near you but also by a Heavenly Father with a perfectly orchestrated, fail-proof future.

Now for the questions that used to cause me heartburn:

1) Are you seeing anybody? Also the close cousins to this question: Why doesn’t a pretty thing like you have a boyfriend? Did you know that when I was your age, I was changing two sets of diapers? (My twenty-year old truth: I’d love to have a boyfriend, but I’m not gonna settle. Yes, I know the clock is ticking, but God numbers my days. And yes, I do feel pretty cute even as a single girl. 😊)

2) Are you sure about the career you’ve chosen? Also the close cousins to this question: Do you realize that you’ll always be poor as a teacher? Why would anyone want to spend all day with teenagers? (My twenty-year old truth: God clearly led me to teaching. He will provide all my needs. And sometimes teenagers are much easier than adults. 😬)

3) So you haven’t moved out yet? Also the close cousins to this question: Does living with your parents affect your social life? Aren’t you ready for new adventures? (My twenty-year old truth: Saving money at my age is smart. Living with people who love and care for me is even smarter. And new adventures can happen in very familiar places.)

Happy Thanksgiving chit-chat to the young single girlies! Here’s to uplifting, meaningful, sincere conversation. And if you’re a bit anxious about those long term plans, take it from someone who’s been there: follow Him daily and savor every single step; it’ll all work out just fine.


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