A single mistake (reprint)

young womanTo the single girls who love God:

There’s something I should say, but I don’t want to. Honestly, I’ve avoided the topic, but yesterday someone asked me point-blank. And so the time has come, even if I’m hesitant, to reassure single ladies everywhere: It’s okay to want a boyfriend.

Really. It’s perfectly all right. Wanting “relationship” status doesn’t make you weak or superficial or dissatisfied. It doesn’t make you desperate. In fact, the desire makes sense, according to Genesis: Eve was literally made to partner with Adam (Genesis 2:18). Today, her DNA still flutters in girls’ hearts. Estrogen likes testosterone. Testosterone needs estrogen. And it’s Biblical.

But yet, while knowing this truth, I’m reluctant to bring it up. I don’t want to discuss Adam and Eve, Boaz and Ruth, Joseph and Mary. Instead, let’s chat about Paul and the perks of being single. 🙂 So, what’s my hang-up? Why not promote the True Love Relationship Plan?

Here’s why, sweet sisters of mine:

  • I don’t want you to rush. Young love can be foolish.
  • I don’t want you to be distracted. Young love can be consuming.
  • I don’t want you to compromise. Young love can be damaging.

The stakes of dating are high, for sure, but God has shown me this: Ignoring the issue doesn’t do you any favors. It sends the wrong message, that all boyfriends are trouble. It suggests that wanting one equates to spiritual immaturity. And that’s just not true.

You deserve more credit than I’ve given. Maybe you’re different. Maybe you’re immune to dating disasters because your spiritual head’s on straight: Your love for God is deep, a steady reliance on His direction. You know that worth comes from a Sovereign Creator, not an attentive boy. And until a guy shows up with the same convictions, you’re going to wait.

If this is you, little sis, then consider our dialogue open—Guy topics are officially on the table. (Smiles, everyone!) Acknowledge the desire, study God’s clear instruction. Pray about your Someday Boy, even. It’s perfectly okay.


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