When hanging on hurts too much

getting stuckYou’ve dated him awhile. There’s history, things only you two share. But even though you care for him, something’s off. You’re just not happy. It’s stressing you, draining you, changing you.

So what’s a girl to do? Wait it out? Pretend everything’s fine? Granted, it’s tough to throw away the investment—time, energy, your heart. But know this: Even though it might be hard, you can. (And maybe you actually should.) Don’t let these lies keep you stuck in a dead-end dating relationship:

“Being with him beats being alone.” Sweet girls with holes in their hearts—daughters left by daddies, girls who don’t feel special—can sometimes cling to second best. But God says you’re worth more, that He’ll fill the void and give purpose. You’re not alone and even without a boyfriend, you can feel satisfied and whole in Christ. Ask Him to show you how. (Joshua 1:9, Jeremiah 29:11, 2 Corinthians 5:17)

“We’ve been intimate, so I can’t leave.” Two wrongs don’t make a right. If you’ve been physical with a boy, scripture does show the way out through beautiful forgiveness. In fact, God will forget the whole thing and help you start over! (And the one-day husband He’s preparing will forgive you, too.) So don’t hang on because of s-e-x. In fact, that’s a really good reason to r-u-n. (Isaiah 43:25, 1 Corinthians 6:18)

“I’m his only link to Jesus.” If you’re dating a non-Christian, please don’t fear you’re his only spiritual lifeline. Rest easy; you’re not. First, God won’t ask you to ignore scripture—In this case, the why-nots of dating unbelievers—for the sake of sharing Christ. Second, God is pretty creative when it comes to revealing Himself. Third, God wants your boyfriend to believe. Of course, pray for him. But scripture says it’s best not to date him. (Psalm 27:17, 2 Corinthians 6:14)

“It’s easier to stay.” Sometimes just the thought of breaking up is stressful. Will there be tears, regrets, explanations? But if your heart says go—And let’s assume your God-honoring heart is praying—then do it. Be kind, honest, and respectful, steering clear of drama. It’ll be an eventual gift to him and one to yourself as well. Who knows where God wants to take you next? And you’ll be ready for the next chapter. (Isaiah 43:19, Matthew 7:12)

Cheer up, weary girlfriends: If you’re hanging on for the wrong reasons, it’s okay to walk. After all, you’re dating, not married.  After all, you desire God’s best. And after all, HE is always enough.


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