A single mistake

To the single girls who love God:

There’s something I should say, but I don’t want to. Honestly, I’ve avoided the topic, but yesterday someone asked me point-blank. And so the time has come, even if I’m hesitant, to reassure single ladies everywhere: Yes, it’s okay to want a boyfriend.

Really. It’s perfectly all right. Wanting “relationship” status doesn’t make you weak or superficial or dissatisfied. It doesn’t make you desperate. In fact, the desire makes sense, according to Genesis: Eve was literally made to partner with Adam (Genesis 2:18). Today, her DNA still flutters in girls’ hearts. Estrogen likes testosterone. Testosterone needs estrogen. And it’s Biblical.

But yet, while knowing this truth, I’m reluctant to bring it up. I don’t want to discuss Adam and Eve, Boaz and Ruth, Joseph and Mary. Instead, let’s chat about Paul and the perks of being single. 🙂 So, what’s my hang-up? Why not promote the True Love Relationship Plan?

Here’s why, sweet sisters of mine:

  • I don’t want you to rush. Young love can be foolish.
  • I don’t want you to be distracted. Young love can be consuming.
  • I don’t want you to compromise. Young love can be damaging.

The stakes of dating are high, for sure, but God has shown me this: Ignoring the issue doesn’t do you any favors. It sends the wrong message, that all boyfriends are trouble. It suggests that wanting one amounts to spiritual immaturity. And that’s just not true.

You deserve more credit than I’ve given. Maybe you’re different. Maybe you’re immune to dating disasters because your spiritual head’s on straight: Your love for God is deep, a steady reliance on His direction. You know that worth comes from a Sovereign Creator, not an attentive boy. And until a guy shows up with the same convictions, you’re content to wait.

If this is you, little sis, then consider our dialogue open–Boys are officially on the table. (Smiles, everyone!) Acknowledge the desire, study God’s clear instruction. Pray about your Someday Boy, even. It’s perfectly okay.


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2 thoughts on “A single mistake

  1. Linda Jacob says:

    its hard to find any man who will wait to make the moves, i have many guy friends but none of them i am attracted to. i do want a boyfriend and marry again, i felt that relationship love and i want it again, but even if i go to church everyone seems to have someone or they are not my type (attractive). my pastor swears by no online dating sites even though a lot of people find “the one”. i miss the companionship. i know God has the one for me and i trust his judgement better then mine. i am one of those girls who needs a man in her life. i ache for love.

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