Crushes. Dating. Ah, b-o-y-s. (Hands in the aa-ir if you like ‘em.) Honestly, if it were up to me, a girl wouldn’t even meet a guy—yet alone date him—till her twentieth year. 🙂 But since this isn’t likely, let’s chat about life with a boyfriend. Sorry, slight correction here: Life God’s way with a boyfriend.
Doesn’t apply to you? Certainly, this might be true. (Whew, I’m thinking. Fewer distractions, compromises, heartaches. Promise!) But even if the ole Facebook status says “single,” keep reading. One day, you might find yourself as the g/f of a b/f. And guaranteed, you’ll relate to someone who may—or may not—have a Godly handle on love.
Oh, and before we go on, remember this: The readers in mind for today’s blog already believe in Jesus. They also follow Him, love Him, serve Him, know Him. And they attract guys who do the same. Got it? So without further ado, here’s some wisdom for Godly girlfriends:
- Keep your friendships with the girls. Ever been ditched by a friend spending every waking moment with her “man”? Or hung out with the bestie, only to find she talks about just one thing—him? As a chick who’s been on both sides of the fence, I’m begging you to protect the girlfriend relationship. Here’s what the Bible says: Good friendships are valuable. They are to be treasured, nurtured, and celebrated. A healthy Christian friend strengthens you, challenges you, loves you. She is placed in your life by God and should never be neglected. (Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 18:24, Proverbs 27:10).
- Maintain your own identity. I knew someone who hated country music till she dated Chad. Before long, she wore cowboy boots and sang Conway Twitty songs. She also changed her college plans to be near the boyfriend. Here’s God’s way: Let Him alone transform you. God has amazing plans—individual, personal plans. The Holy Spirit designed spiritual gifts just for you. And if your focus is different from your boyfriend, no biggie: Develop your own interests and passions, knowing that your unique personality is a breath of fresh air for the Kingdom. (Jeremiah 29:11-13, Romans 12:2).
- Uphold the sexual standard. Don’t tempt him. Ever. It may not be fair, but you, the girlfriend, call the shots when it comes to physical intimacy. And things that may not even register on your sexual radar—touch, attire, suggestive talk—will drive him nuts. While I realize it’s flattering to feel desired, how unfair to a Godly guy who’s fighting temptation! So please, don’t sit on his lap. Or invite him over when no one’s home. Or text him cutesy dirty messages. It’s fire play. And cruel. The Bible is so clear about running from sexual temptation that on this topic, there’s really no debate. (Song of Solomon 2:7, 1 Corinthians 6:18).
- Realize this might not last forever. And that’s okay. Please don’t cry when you read this, especially if you’re in love. Truth is, most young couples don’t marry each other. No one wants to dwell on this, but keeping it in mind is healthy. Otherwise, you get wayyy too wrapped up in him and lose some perspective. Examples: Becoming so closely entwined with his parents that you grieve a whole family when it’s over. Or caving to sexual pressure because, after all, he’s probably your future husband. Sometimes God gives you Mr. Right NOW. And he’s part of learning how to love your forever-someone when it’s time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1.)
So how are you doing, young girlfriends of the world? Kinda thoughtful? A little wiser? Please know I’m rooting for you. My prayer is that God protects your heart, helping you see the gift of healthy dating. And always uphold your first love, the ONE who treats you right, cheers you on, and never, ever leaves.
“The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.”