What (good) guys want

All right, young ladies with dating standards: Today the guys reveal their criteria for a girlfriend or eventual wife. “They have rules too?” you might ask. Well, the Godly ones do. And thanks to some top-secret research, you’re about to learn what they’re looking for. 🙂

Here’s how I stumbled upon THE LIST: Recently, several ladies shared their “boyfriend criteria.” Talk about some picky chicks! But thank God for Biblical standards, right? Hallelujah to not compromising! And amen to maintaining those standards, even if it means staying single! (Right? Still amen-ing, or did I lose you with that last one?)

After hearing their long lists, I asked a simple question: “Would a boy like this date a girl like you?” An uncomfortable thought, for sure. But isn’t it a fair one? I mean, if young women set a high bar, then won’t “high bar men” demand the same? In other words, are these ladies spiritually ready to attract the good guys?

So I asked a handful of males from eighteen to twenty-six. Some are single, others are dating, and two are married. All of them are Godly young men. They are handsome, funny, educated, and talented. Believe me, they’d make your list. So without further ado, in their own words, are the criteria from several Prince Charmings:

  1. “The first thing that comes to mind is a woman with strong convictions. She knows the Word, and it doesn’t matter who disagrees, she stands by her beliefs. It’s not just head knowledge but heart conviction. She’s not budging, period.”

2. “A girl who dresses modestly is key. We guys struggle enough with impure thoughts. The last thing I want is to struggle around her, and I don’t want other guys stumbling, either. She can be jaw-droppingly beautiful without compromising herself.”

 3. “Someone who couldn’t care less about material things gets my attention. When girls go on and on about name brands, nice cars, or stuff they want, I wonder if they value deeper things. There’s not room for God inside a superficial heart.”

4. “A woman I date must show the love of Christ every day. It’s not a mood or a one-time mission project. She genuinely cares for the lost. Her love for Christ overflows into compassion for others, and it is obvious to everyone.”

5. “The girl of my dreams will not want to change me (and I won’t try to change her). She will understand that God made me, and even though I need improvement, HE will do the work of transforming me into a better person, not her.”

6. “I respect a woman who does not change who she is based on whom she’s dating. She has her own music, movies, and hobbies. If she fakes who she really is, then she’s cheating us both out of God’s best plan.”

7. “She makes good choices. Christianity is not about rules, but girls who love God want to please Him.  I’m not interested in anyone who abuses her body or mind with alcohol, smoking, profanity, or sex. If it’s in her past, fine. If it’s in her present, no thanks.”

8. “I need to know she’d be okay without me. Sounds strange, but her closest relationship must be with God, not me (I can’t carry her spiritually, and she shouldn’t carry me.) She needs her own unique way to serve, pray, grow, study, and worship.”

9. “Every guy wants a girl who is positive and pleasant, but it’s critical for Christians. If she spends time with God, then she will have joy and contentment. Someone who complains about everything tells me a lot about her spiritual walk (or lack of one).”

10. “After hanging out with her, I feel better about myself. She makes me laugh, and she thinks I’m awesome. My ideas are important to her. Of course, I want to do the same for her. Together with God, we make a great team.”

Well, ladies, that’s the list. Not much more I can add, except for one caution: The motive for spiritual maturity in Christ is not to get a guy. Even a good one. But walking closely, consistently, and passionately has its rewards. Who knows? The “Catch of the Century” may just be one of them. 

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“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).

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