Here’s one thing I know: With lots of young women reading this blog, it’s tough to cover every question about sex. In fact, I shouldn’t even try. A better angle, I think, is looking at God’s beautiful plan for your body when (or if) you ever share it with a man. Maybe you’re right on track with waiting until marriage. Maybe you’re not. Wherever you are, let’s review with a crash course in Sex and Worthy Daughters 101:
1. What’s God’s plan for sex? Well, it’s not supposed to be shameful or naughty. The Father created an exciting, private, and safe environment for a woman to share her body: marriage. He blesses this intimate connection because sex between married couples strengthens the lifelong relationship and results in some very cute kids. 🙂
2. Why does God reserve sex for married couples? Chances are you’ve seen or even experienced the pain of pre-marital hanky panky: disease, unwanted pregnancy, shame, insecurity, deceit….God wants to protect you from these consequences and more. Ever heard of oxytocin? It’s a chemical that a woman releases when she is intimate with someone. One of its purposes is to create a strong connection to her partner. She feels as if she belongs to him–forever. This works divinely when a wife loves her husband, but can you imagine what oxytocin does to a sexually active girl when her boyfriend leaves?
3. When is it okay to tweak the plan? If you’re using God’s Word as the final say, then you know this answer: Never. There’s no fine print saying that a steady boyfriend cancels out God’s design. Or that because you’ll marry him eventually, it’s okay to accelerate the action. Even if you’ve already done a little backseat tweaking, it’s possible to start new, saving all future sex for your one-day husband. God will bless a fresh beginning for anyone desiring the ultimate: A pure sexual commitment with someone who shares his life with you.
4. How does God view the occasional third base action? We’ve (almost) been convinced that anything but “actual intercourse” is technically okay. Please don’t fall for it. According to the Bible, any hint of sexual activity is off-limits until marriage. (Remember, God’s purpose is to protect you from the pain discussed in #2. You don’t have to travel all those bases to feel these consequences.) What exactly is off-limits? Anything with the word “sex” in the title (oral, anal); fondling sexual organs over or under clothes; removing clothes (either you or him), and flirting with sexually explicit terms. Married? Then go for it. Single? Run as fast as you can away from that boy.
5. Where are the guys who’ll date a girl who won’t? Young men who respect God’s instructions to wait are admittedly few and far between. Know this, though: They exist. Maybe not in your school. Heck, maybe not even in your church! Wherever he is, I hope you’ll wait for God to bring him around, even if you’re single awhile. Even if you’re teased for not doing what “everyone else” is doing. Trust me on this one: There’s nothing more attractive than a confident young woman who loves her God and honors her body. The right kinds of boys will understand this. The wrong kinds won’t, but that’s too bad: They’ve missed out on the best girl ever, a worthy daughter of God. Their loss. Your gain. I promise.
Here are some Biblical passages that explain God’s perfect plan for relationships and sex:
1) Being single has its perks: 1 Corinthians 7:32
2) Sexual activity before marriage is not okay: Ephesians 5:3, 2 Timothy 2:22, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
3) Our bodies belong to the Lord: 1 Corinthians 6:13, 18-20
4) Real (married) love is God’s beautiful plan: 1 Corinthians 7:1-4, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Hebrews 13:4, Genesis 1:28
5) The right guy to date is clear: 2 Corinthians 6:14