The break-up

Boy oh boy, breaking up is hard. One of the toughest things, in my opinion. Do you personally know about heartbreak? I hope not. My first broken heart (yes, sadly there were several) crushed me at the tender age of eighteen. Not only did I care deeply for someone, but he dumped me. Dumped me! Obviously, he was insane. 🙂 It was hard, being rejected. If you can relate, the memory may still sting. If not, then keep reading anyway: You can use the info to help a friend or to store up wisdom for later—you know, just in case another boy loses his mind.

Last month two young ladies—one in her teens and another in her twenties—asked me for advice after messy break-ups. We talked, hugged, and prayed about their devastating experiences. Before I knew it, we had a manual, of sorts, for Christian girls coping with heartache. Here are some how-to’s for daughters who need some Heavenly Father TLC:

1)      It may seem far-fetched now, but peace and healing are coming. God will snuggle you close and show you love that lasts forever. Just ask. It’s supernatural, really, the comfort He promises. In fact, God says in Jeremiah 29:11-13 that it’ll all work out exactly like it’s supposed to. Just lean on Him like you never have before, and watch what happens.

2)      Let yourself be sad for a little bit. When heartbreak happens, the Bible says it’s okay to grieve for awhile. Just be careful to move through it, giving God your hurting heart and determining to be joyful, hopeful, and thankful in time. The sadness will pass gradually.

3)      Make Philippians 4:8 your battle cry. Look it up, underline it, and determine that you’ll think about good things—things that please God. This will change your perspective and enhance your mood. When destructive thoughts begin, quote scripture or count five blessings that have nothing to do with boys.

4)      See this period of “single-ness” as a chance to fall in love with God. Tell Him all the stuff you tell your girlfriends (He already knows it anyway). Dig into the Bible’s soothing truth—perhaps Philippians, a book about joy despite unpleasant circumstances. Get to know your awesome God. He really is all you need.

5)      If you feel guilty about stuff with the ex, then learn from it. Ask forgiveness for things you aren’t proud of, and don’t let Satan haunt your thoughts. Start new—fresh beginnings with God are exciting! Decide right now—in fact, make a list—of boyfriend traits that please God. Then refuse to compromise ever again. He will bless your obedience.

Well, this is a start, but there certainly is more to learn about healthy break-ups. The bottom line, though, is that your Heavenly Father has a plan for your life. Yes, even your love life (or lack of one, huh?). Lasting happiness comes from following Him, even when the road is filled with tears. Just let Him lead the way to something better. You can trust me on this one–I’ve been there, and it’s gonna be okay.


2 thoughts on “The break-up

  1. Jordan Smith says:

    This is great Mrs. Ava. If I may add something, don’t try to fix whatever went wrong. Just like you can’t change a guy while in a relationship with him, you can’t change him afterwards. Leave that up to God. Pray for him instead.

  2. Ava says:

    Yes, Jordan, I completely agree! Thank you for adding your insight to a painful subject for many. So many young women hang on WAY longer than they should when all God wants for them is healing and a new start. Wise words, sister! 🙂

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